Count Paul
Posted: 11/19/12

Posted: 11/19/12

A New Anthem
Posted: 11/19/12

O fuck. Can you bleed? For yer Uncle Sam’s fight?
What so blindly we lost… Govern-mental convenience.
Booze. Broads. Bikes. And drive bars. Heaven Hill and fistfights.
Oh the grand art we’ve wrought out of killing all feelings.
And the crosses we wear, have no savior to bare.
Find truth through a fight, because God is nowhere.
Oh say does that shit spangled cum rag still wave?
O’er the…You know what fuck this.


A Selection of Obama T-shirts
Posted: 11/19/12

I saw someone wearing this shirt once and thought that it was a jewel made only for that person. It helped me understand that the dunk it is the ultimate expression of dominance.

This shirt connects most intimately not with Rastafarianism, Jamaica, or even Bob Marley but rather with Bob Marley graphic tees.

The most beautiful.

The most Meta.

Aubrey O’Day is an American singer, actress, fashion designer, and reality television personality (Making the Band 3). She designed the garments that both her and her dog are pictured here wearing. In 2012 she helped Obama carry the bad girl vote in four separate swing states.

I think it is worth noting that an outhouse is depicted here and not a toilet. I cannot decide if this decision serves to invoke a more vivid metaphor (dirt feces hole house vs. sanitary efficient luxury appliance) or if it is trying to connect with a rural sensibility. Either way it is pretty gross.

Most pro-Obama apparel rhetoric is an exercise in ideological atmospheres. Sweet perfumes engulfing its wearer in boozy orientations of “change,” “hope,” and “togetherness.” This shirt seems to offer a rebuke to those adorable sentiments. As a slogan more befitting a tank decal or a banner on an aircraft carrier, OBAMA GOT OSAMA is a curt and violent message. Meant to offer tough-guy validation via the military murder it advertises.

This “Worse than a Hangover” tee is worn by men/boys who love Zach Galifianakis and hate Barack Obama. I want my “Tiny Furniture” tee for those of us who hate Zach Galifianakis and love Barack Obama.

“Yes We Can” in Gaelic.

In the ensuing moments after the first presidential debate and Mitt Romney’s media ordained victory someone made a t-shirt. This item proves two realities for me: first, that we are truly a metrics obsessed culture and second, someone is always ALWAYS ready to make a t-shirt at any given instant.

Our celebrity president.